


sun will rise

by helloearthlings



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety, Banter, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Separation Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 11:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14693520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloearthlings/pseuds/helloearthlings
Summary: “Jack, you’re – you’re here. You’re in the world. You’re doing something that makes you happy, something that lets you spend time with your sister. Why the hell would I have a problem with that?”“Sammy,” Jack sighed like Sammy was purposefully being obtuse. “You don’t – you don’t handle it well when I’m not around.”Sammy looked at his feet, trying not to blush.The thing was, Jack was back, he was alive and pretty much well and in Sammy’s life and that was, well, every sappy adjective Sammy could possibly use. But Sammy had spent a long fucking time alone which made him...a little clingier than he used to be.





	sun will rise

**Author's Note:**

> So this is what I was trying to write when I wrote the last the thing I posted, so obviously they deal with very similar themes. Though I really enjoyed the fluff/banter in this one, especially with Ben because Ben is just too good, guys.
> 
> Hope you like it, please comment if you do!

Jack had been drumming his knuckles on the countertop for the past hour as he worked on his laptop, which was never a good sign. It was an anxious habit that he’d had at least as long as Sammy had known him and generally meant that he was stewing over something and was probably itching to say words that Sammy didn’t want to hear.

Sammy was slicing vegetables, one of the few things he was capable of doing in the kitchen, even if there was a fifty/fifty chance he’d slice an appendage off at some point. The sound was putting him on edge and therefore skewing the odds to seventy-five/twenty-five.

Five years ago, he would’ve grabbed Jack’s hand in the middle of the drumming and either done something affectionate to distract him or else tell him to knock it off with the noise because he couldn’t concentrate, but he didn’t mind the sound anymore.

His apartment hadn’t had sound in so long, and it was a nice, quiet constant reminder that Jack was there and he hadn’t changed too much, that he was still the same as ever, nervous tics and all.

So Sammy had grown to embrace the drumming.

But he knew that Jack was eventually going to work his way up to saying something, and the anxiety over what Jack could possibly be nervous enough about for an hour’s worth of drumming was driving Sammy a little crazy.

“What is it?” Sammy set his knife down and set his hand gingerly next to Jack’s, their pinkies brushing.

Jack half-smiled, half-scowled at him at being found out, but the affection in his eyes outweighed the annoyance.

“I’m gonna tell you something and I don’t think you’re gonna like it,” Jack hedged, not quite meeting Sammy’s eye.

The anxiety in Sammy’s chest didn’t overtake him, though it did ramp up slightly. He wasn’t as paranoid as he used to be about Jack realizing that he was too good for Sammy and leaving him for someone better – they’d been through too much for that now.

But that didn’t mean Sammy wasn’t worried – there could be any sorts of issues – what if it was Jack’s health? He’d been doing so much better these last two months after the bruises littering his body had finally faded and he stopped vomiting every time he ate, but what if there was something worse?

“I can hear you thinking,” Jack interrupted with a half-hidden smile, his hand shifting just slightly to cover Sammy’s and squeeze. “I’m fine. You’re fine. It’s nothing objectively bad. I just don’t think you’ll be overjoyed about it.”

“Did you and Ben finalize your plans for hosting a roast for me?” Sammy asked, his lip twitching. Ben and Jack agreed about most everything in the world, but their favorite topic of conversation was embarrassing stories about Sammy. Sammy acted put out when they made fun of him, but he couldn’t hide how warm he felt at the sight of his fiancé and best friend together, even if they did spend all their time mocking him. “Did you contact the Comedy Central people to get it televised?”

“We’re still working on the details,” Jack said, hiding a laugh before his face softened and he squeezed Sammy’s hand again. “No – Lily asked me to come to DC with her next month. And I really want to go.”

“Why’s that a bad thing?” Sammy asked, most of his nerves dissipating, although the look on Jack’s face kept a steady thrum of anxiety in his gut. “I mean – you are coming back, aren’t you?”

Sammy laughed to keep himself from actually worrying about Jack coming back, and he was relieved to hear Jack laugh along with him.

“Of course I’m coming back,” Jack reassured him. “It’s for that story on lobbyists that we’re working on for next month’s Wright On. We’re meeting Pippa there. But – it’ll be for a few weeks. Maybe a month depending on how fast we work.”

“Oh,” Sammy said, and though the idea didn’t sound bad – actually, it sounded pretty good for Jack’s continued path of readjusting back into the world – but there was also a lump quickly growing in his throat. “Jack – that’s great. Seriously.”

Jack blinked at him. “I – really?”

“Of course,” Sammy said, wondering how on earth Jack could think Sammy wouldn’t support him, even if he did roll his eyes at Wright On. But he and Lily were getting along much better lately now that she’d moved permanently to King Falls and they had Jack to bridge to the gap between them. “I don’t actually hate Lily. And you’ve been working so hard on the research for the project, of course you should go along for the actual reporting.”

Jack smiled up at him, obviously a little mystified but also just plain _happy_ , and that smile was worth any inconvenience. “I thought you’d be more reticent to the idea since, you know…”

“What?” Sammy asked when Jack faded off sheepishly. “Jack, you’re – you’re here. You’re in the world. You’re doing something that makes you happy, something that lets you spend time with your sister. Why the hell would I have a problem with that?”

“Sammy,” Jack sighed like Sammy was purposefully being obtuse. “You don’t – you don’t _handle_ it well when I’m not around.”

Sammy looked at his feet, trying not to blush.

The thing was, Jack was _back,_ he was alive and pretty much well and in Sammy’s life and that was, well every sappy adjective Sammy could possibly use. But Sammy had spent a long fucking time alone which made him...a little clingier than he used to be.

And he’d been pretty permanently glued to Jack to begin with, so the Void had sparked him into new heights of clinginess, especially with Jack’s health going in and out.

Back when Sammy had first moved to King Falls, he’d wake up and immediately reach for Jack because he’d forget, every single time he would forget that Jack was gone, he wasn’t there, that Sammy was alone.

Now, he’d wake up and not realize that Jack was there. He’d assume he was alone until he felt Jack’s arm around him, felt him breathing against his chest.

And when Jack wasn’t in bed, Sammy was prone to panic. He’d think he dreamed everything, that Jack had never been saved, or else the Void had snatched him up again, and he would stop breathing until he managed to find Jack, even if Jack was just out getting breakfast or taking a shower.

Readjusting to doing the show every night was a hell of a time of anxiety and nerves that only helped when Jack called in or stayed for the show, sleeping on the couch in Sammy’s office so he could poke his head in at breaks if he started feeling like he was drowning without Jack.

Sammy had even gone to stay with Jack at his parents’ house more than once and Jack’s parents had barely tolerated Sammy since they first met at Sammy and Jack’s college graduation. But the idea of spending more than a night without Jack had outweighed the fear of homophobic parents by a couple thousand leagues.

“I…” Sammy looked at Jack’s creased eyebrows, the tension in his shoulders, his hand that had started drumming again the second Sammy wasn’t holding it anymore. Sammy quickly quieted it with a squeeze. “I will figure out how to deal. You can text me constantly. I’ll have Lily and Pippa text me too. You can call every night. It’ll – it’ll be fine.”

Sammy knew his voice came out a little strangled and pitchy and that anyone would’ve probably known he was lying through his teeth, but especially Jack. Jack could always see right through him, and his eyes were careful and soft on Sammy’s own.

“If it’s too much right now, we can put off the trip, or I can go on the next one,” Jack started, his voice measured and more understanding than it had any right to be, because it immediately caused a wave of guilt in Sammy’s stomach.

“No, you want to do it, I can tell, and my shit isn’t gonna hold you back from – from living your life again,” Sammy said firmly, not leaving Jack room to argue. “I’ll get over myself, I promise.”

Jack’s hand reached across the countertop separating them to rest a hand on the side of Sammy’s neck, warm and firm as he brushed Sammy’s hair away from his face, and God, every time Jack touched him it was just so fucking much, but the touch grounded him and made him feel whole in a way nothing else could.

Which was why it was fucking hard when Jack wasn’t there to quiet the panic in Sammy’s head.

* * *

 

Sammy got home from driving Jack to the airport three weeks later to open his apartment door to find Ben inside, in t-shirt and sweatpants, microwaving what smelled like popcorn in Sammy’s kitchen.

“Hey, man!” Ben grinned as Sammy narrowed his eyes at his best friend, trying to suss out exactly what Ben’s angle was here. “Popcorn? I have milk duds to add to it.”

Sammy slowly took his jacket off to hang in the front closet, not taking his eyes off Ben, who was humming in a way that said he was ever so pleased with himself. “Ben…what exactly are you doing in my apartment?”

Ben raised an eyebrow at Sammy as if he were an idiot. “We’re having a slumber party. Duh.”

He pointed over to Sammy’s living room, which hadn’t had a pillow fort in it when Sammy left for the airport, but certainly had one now.

“Aren’t we a little old for slumber parties?” Sammy asked, feigning annoyance even though there was something distinctly warm and affectionate in his chest.

“You are, maybe,” Ben snickered because of course he couldn’t pass up an old joke.

“Jack put you up to this, huh?” Sammy’s lips betrayed him by twitching into a small smile that Ben absolutely noticed, for his smile grew six times in size at the sight of it.

“Jack didn’t put me up to anything,” Ben said in a sing-songy voice. “Jack and I decided _together_ on this course of action.”

“You guys make a notebook about it?” Sammy said, mainly just to be argumentative so he wouldn’t break down and give Ben a hug immediately. “A Stop Sammy’s Constant Anxiety Notebook this time?”

“Just a text thread,” Ben said in his most innocent voice, which wasn’t very innocent at all. “Hence…slumber party.”

“You two being friends is the bane of my existence,” Sammy deadpanned, but Ben’s smirk told him he wasn’t fooling anyone, up to and including himself.

“You love us both _so much_ and the fact that we’re best friends now makes you _so happy –_ don’t think I can’t see that smile you’re hiding! Don’t think I can’t see it!”

Sammy bit his lip to keep from giving Ben what he wanted, but he pulled his idiot best friend into a hug anyway. “Whatever you wanna think, dude. Also, best friend? C’mon, I’m your best friend. Jack’s not replacing me.”

“Never,” Ben laughed, squeezing Sammy tightly. “But seriously dude, are you doing okay? Jack said it was tough saying goodbye so I wanted to make sure I was here when you got back.”

“It was…” Sammy hesitated, because he didn’t want to show weakness but it had been really fucking hard on him. He’d stayed until the last possible second, holding Jack’s hand hard enough that both of their knuckles went white, until Jack kissed his cheek goodbye, and Sammy had dived in for a long, full kiss that lasted far longer than any time he’d ever kissed Jack in public. “…not my favorite experience.”

Jack swore that he’d text as soon as the plane landed, and as often as he could while in DC, and would FaceTime every night. Lily had told Sammy not to be baby but also said him she’d send him embarrassing pictures of Jack whenever the opportunity arose. And Pippa would be there for back up when Jack and Lily inevitably forgot to charge their phones.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said, letting Sammy go as the microwave beeped, the popcorn ready. “It feels like he only just got back, I can’t imagine how hard it’ll be to be apart for this long.”

“Jack…doesn’t like sitting still,” Sammy said, his affection for Jack probably clearly coming across with every word. “He likes to be busy. He likes to have a project. And when just being in the world was difficult, when trying to get healthy again was his goal, that was all well and good. But he’s doing so much better – so he’s gotten a little restless. I understand that.”

“I’m sure Lily couldn’t be more thrilled,” Ben said and Sammy couldn’t even think of something snarky to say. Lily had practically cried when Jack told her that he would come with her to DC; she was so overjoyed not to just to have her brother back, but to be working with him again.

And it made Sammy happy too, seeing the two of them together like old times, even if was still bittersweet after all the time they’d spent apart.

“Lily is doing her best approximation of jumping for joy,” Sammy said with a faux-eye roll. “Meaning that she almost smiled once.”

“You could’ve gone with, you know,” Ben said, his gaze suddenly serious. “At least for part of the time.”

Sammy shook his head, a lump in his throat. “Nah. I need to let Jack live his own life, especially since he missed out on so much time. And he wants to stay in King Falls, live here permanently with me even though he didn’t know anybody, so the least I can do is not kick up a fuss when he wants to travel with his own sister. Besides, maybe this’ll help me get over this fucking thing with not being able to function without Jack within arm’s reach.”

“Hey, that’s a totally valid feeling,” Ben said, eyes earnest. “But we’ll all be here to help you through it. Anything you need.”

“I suppose you’ll be here all month?” Sammy said, faking a long-suffering look that he hoped hid all the deep-running affection he had for his best friend.

“As much as you need me to,” Ben said. “At least for these first few nights. And then I’d say you could just tell me whenever else you need me to stay, but I know you well enough to know that you’d rather suffer in silence than admit to having an emotion. So at least once a week, alright?”

“…How about the nights we do the show? We can just go in together,” Sammy said after a second’s hesitation, owning up to his brand by hating asking for help, but Ben grinned brilliantly at him.

“It’s a deal,” Ben said. “But we don’t have the show tonight, so it’s slumber party time. I’ll even let you choose the movies because I’m so generous like that.”

“Is this an action movie or romantic comedy night?” Sammy said, because those were generally Ben’s two movie avenues – explosions or kissing in the rain were Ben’s favorites.

Ben’s grin became decidedly shit-eating. “How about romantic comedy? Since maybe that’ll get you in the mood for talking about your _weddddiiiing_.”

Ben poked Sammy repeatedly in the side as Sammy groaned loudly for dramatic purposes.

Sammy and Jack had decided pretty much right away that waiting to get married was stupid as hell since their engagement had already lasted four years too long and the excruciating and painful outing process was already over and done with. The only real deciding factor was how healthy Jack was, and he was getting better every day.

They’d tentatively decided on some time around Christmas, Jack’s first Christmas back in King Falls. But that was still a few months away, and Ben and Emily were very determined to plan the perfect wedding before then.

It was a little funny – back before, Sammy and Jack had figured almost no one would come to their wedding since their families weren’t exactly supportive and there was no guarantee their friends and colleagues would be either. Their guest list was pretty limited to _Lily_ and even that was up for discussion.

Now, though, it seemed like half of King Falls would probably be there, or at least the half that Sammy liked. Lily was obviously going to be there, and deeply involved in the planning process. Pippa and her wife were going to come. Some of their friends from college who were so shocked to hear that Jack was _alive_ and wanted to see him again. Hell, even Jack’s parents were going to come because there was nothing like thinking your son was dead for four years to make sexuality a non-issue.

Back before, not having his own family at his wedding would’ve made Sammy spin out, but now – well, half of King Falls was coming. His family would be there, just not the family he thought he’d have.

And of course he had a best man in Ben, who was also doubling as a wedding planner along with Emily. Jack’s only request as far as the wedding went was that _oh, I don’t know, I’d ideally like Sammy to be there,_ and Sammy’s main wish was _a reception at Glory Holes_.

Ben, however, was all too thrilled to deal with flower arrangements and caterers and officiants. Sammy had made a mental note that he’d have to be at least as supportive and involved when Ben and Emily eventually tied the knot.

“Alright, we can talk about my _wedddiiing_ ,” Sammy badly mimicked Ben’s voice and Ben rolled his eyes in response. “If we’re really doing the cliché teenage slumber party, we may as well go all out. But I draw the line at painting your nails.”

“And I draw the line at braiding your hair,” Ben bounced back, though he sounded delighted at the mere prospect. “We do have to cuddle, though. I’ve already gotten Jack’s permission.”

“You got my fiancé’s permission to cuddle with me? You’re so weird,” Sammy shook his head, but put a casual arm around Ben’s neck to hug him, just for a second. Sammy had never been the most physically demonstrative person beyond a few bro hugs in dire situations, but ever since his – well, his suicide attempt – Ben had attached himself to Sammy’s side, constantly touching and hugging and holding, probably just trying to reassure himself that Sammy was present and staying, and taking care of his best friend had broken down most of his barriers when it came to physicality.

But Sammy couldn’t think about that without getting choked up and suddenly his first wave of anxiety that _Jack’s not here, oh god, fuck shit, Jack’s not here_ hit in full force.

Sammy purposefully cleared his throat, pushing the thoughts aside. “Well, I’m texting Emily to ask for _her_ permission to cuddle with you, then. Seems only fair.”

“Hey, if you want, Emily and I can tag-team cuddle with you for the next month,” Ben said, not missing a beat. “She’d be more than happy to come stay, too. The three of us will have to have _at least_ one group slumber party.”

Sammy shook his head to stop himself from reaching out to hug Ben again, because his stupid idiot best friend was sometimes just a little too wonderful for Sammy to handle. He didn’t deserve half of what Ben did for him, and yet Ben was still here.

Just like Jack was still here, Sammy thought forcefully, willing himself to internalize it.

“I love you, man,” Sammy said fondly to Ben because he couldn’t help himself, and there were no better words to express what he was feeling. “Now, come on. I guess we’d better put that pillow fort of yours to good use.”

Sammy and Ben watched four romcoms – well, Ben watched three and a half, he fell asleep on Sammy’s shoulder in the middle of _Love Actually_ after crying into Sammy’s shirt during _The Notebook_ – and Sammy mostly managed to stay calm and focused on Ben.

The text from Jack that he got midway through the night was what really made him think that it was all going to be alright.

_Landed in DC! Will call you tomorrow night before you go on air, alright? Ben’s already texted me like six different possible locations you brainstormed for the wedding. My personal favorite was the shores of Lake Hatchenhaw, even if December isn’t exactly the ideal time. Maybe we could get married on the lake? Ron would love that. But honestly, anywhere is better that Perdition Wood, lol. So whatever you want is amazing. Love you!!_

Sammy reread the message four times, breathing a little easier every time, focusing on the sound of Ben snoring next to him and the fact that it wouldn’t be long before Jack was here and after all this time, they’d finally have a wedding, a real one, with the help and support of people who loved them.

Yeah. Yeah, he was going to be alright.


End file.
